An online study in 2012 has shown that couples who go through healthy conflict are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship versus those who ignore difficult conversations. Therefore, fighting with your partner can have many benefits for your relationship as long as you and your loved one do so in a loving, constructive manner.
We understand that arguing is quite common, and that’s why we gathered a list of techniques to follow in order to do it better.
1. Schedule a time and a place to talk about the issues.
If you feel like things are starting to get heated, you should choose the moment and place to vent your frustrations. Taking some time before arguing about the matter will help both of you to prepare yourself and say things wisely before hashing things out at each other out of anger and frustration. So if you start to have a fight, say something like, “Let’s pick it up this evening or another time when there’s time to discuss things,” as psychologists explain.
2. Make sure your basic needs are met before getting into a conversation.
One important rule that needs to be respected in order to have healthy arguments is to check if we are ready to navigate conflict. Fighting with a loved one is an extremely difficult thing that we need to be prepared for at the very minimum. That’s why experts advise people to make sure their basic needs, like food, water, air, and sleep, are met before they go through a tough conversation.
3. Stay on topic and don’t bring up the past.
During an argument, you’re more likely to bring out past mistakes and deviate the subject to other problems you were planning to speak about later. But that only makes it worse since you both can’t focus on one thing at a time. Instead, stay on topic to discuss the current matter, and once you resolve the first issue, you can address a new one in different circumstances.